October 23, 2014: The Chick’s Beach Massacre

A small beach in Virginia has been invaded.
Looking out over the Lucius J. Kellam Bridge you can see hundreds of shipping containers washed up on Chick’s Beach.

We’ve never had anything like this. I get up early every morning to run and take the dog out along the beach and there they were! I thought they were just rocks. We’re a small neighborhood. Things like this don’t happen to us.

Shipping containers have also started to surface in Joyce Lake. Authorities aren’t sure where they have come from, no ship has reported any cargo missing in months.

I heard a loud explosion and it woke me up. Like something under water had blown up. I thought we were being attacked but then my wife and I heard this humming and all of these containers just started popping up in the middle of the lake.

Authorities, opening the containers, commented on a horrible smell of rotting meat.

It was awful. Worse than New York City trash in the middle of a heat wave. A couple of us officers couldn’t keep our stomachs. But, the worst part of all of it…they were still alive.

Thousands of goats, in various stages of decay, were led out of the containers filling Chick’s Beach.
Two cows with three heads each swam to shore in Joyce Lake.

How can they still be standing, walking around? They smell like they’ve been dead for years!

Officer Kilpatrick, bit by a goat, was immediately brought to nearby Sentara Hospital and quarantined.
Authorities have asked everyone but the emergency crews to vacate the area. The goats are being corralled back into the beached shipping containers.
The cows, being aggressive, were put down.

Rumors of zombies have quickly spread throughout the neighborhood,  Highway 60 and Northampton Blvd are gridlocked- creating more panic.
A riot has been reported on Cape Henry Ct, the one way street blocked off by a bonfire of furniture and tires.

The authorities, not knowing what else to do, killed the goats and burned them in an attempt to destroy any kind of disease they may have been carrying.
The three-headed cows began to hum as their bodies burned.

I’ve been asked to leave the area and had to turn over any recording equipment to the police, including any notes and photographs.
The police are beginning to cordon off more of Chesapeake Beach and the Coast Guard have set up in Lynnhaven Inlet and on Lesner Bridge.

The locals are being told to stay in their homes or follow the pre-set route the Army has set up for evacuation.
Reports from Twitter are stating the evacuation route is blocked and families are being escorted back to their houses where a soldier will stand on guard, making sure they do not leave.

This journalists suggests, no matter how dangerous, that you try to leave the Chesapeake Beach area.
Never trust it when the armed forces show up so quickly.

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