January 7, 2014: Living Journal

Mary Ann lives in a little house next to Seattle’s Judkins Park.
Mary Ann keeps a journal- beautiful leather, unlined hand-made paper, neat cursive handwriting.
She’s had this, and other journals, since she was 15 years old.

Mary Ann is lonely.

Which is surprising, as she seems to be able to change reality.

She first caught my attention when reports came in of a singular ray of sun shining on her house, while the rest of Seattle was caught up in downpours.

Jan. 2nd, 2015
I’m so tired of this rain. Maybe I shouldn’t have moved here. Maybe I should have moved to the desert.
Did you know that Seattle is the loneliest city in the country?
Yeah, I didn’t. But it makes sense, I guess.
I wish the rain would stop. At least over my house.

The problem, these days, seems to be the lack of will in people. Will given up to fate. The belief that you deserve certain circumstances, that you deserve the cards you’ve been dealt. Which, sadly, might be true for most people.
But not Mary Anne.

Mary Anne has, what I’m told, is a transformative will. She can change her reality, her life, by starting a simple sentence with “I am…” Only she doesn’t seem to know it yet.

Dec. 31st, 2014
I’m going to ring in the New Year alone. Again.
I have no friends here in Seattle. I don’t like leaving my house.
I wish I felt differently. But, that’s just how it is.

Her neighbours started to worry when they found her dog running around the park without her. One, after finally catching the dog, knocked on her door every hour. Mary Anne never answered.
The local authorities were called and her front door was broken down.

They didn’t find her.
There was no sign of foul play. No forced entry, no broken windows. No blood.
Just a stack of journals and a ray of sunlight blocking the house from the rain.

Jan. 7th, 2015

I’ve had enough, really.
I’m tired of all of this shit. I’m tired of being alone. I’m tired of the rain. I’m tired of Seattle.
I am more than this.
I am a goddess. I belong in the stars.

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