April 2, 2015: Open Spaces

She sits in front of me, legs crossed, smiling.

I can tell from here you have walls around you. You’re guarded.
Your spirit is suffocating.
You need to let it breathe, give it space, allow it to be inspired.

She unfolds her legs and gestures for me to sit in front of her.

She stands up and moves around me, directing me in posing my body, helping get into the correct pose, coaching my breathing, gently moving me.
She knows I’m not experienced in this, but she says it’s needed – she calls it a psychic union crash course.

Hands clasped behind my back she slowly pushes me forward until I’m staring at the ground.

Now, breathe deep and touch your forehead to the ground.

I breathe in, it hurts, my muscles are being pulled in a new direction. I grit my teeth and push my forehead against the floor. Short breaths. I can feel my blood growing hot.

What are you doing? Why are you fighting and struggling? You look like you’re trying to force wings to sprout from your back. Breathe deep and slow.

She places her hand between my shoulder blades, no pressure, just a light touch.
I take a deep breath and my body begins to relax, my shoulders let go and my chest opens up.

Air fills my lungs. My shoulders go slack. The walls that I had built around myself begin to crumble.
I can feel the universe on my skin.
Her hand on my back is pulsing heat and comfort.
My eyes are closed but I can picture China perfectly.
I hear the eternal speech of the gods.
I see myself removed from the cycle of birth-death-rebirth.
Everything points to eighty-eight – double infinity.

I keep breathing and it feels like five different winds are filling my lungs.

Gently she guides me back to a sitting position, taking her place on the ground in front of me.

Now. Just breathe. In and out.
That’s all you need to know.
That’s the key to everything. To being calm, being centered, being happy.
Just breathe.
Breath is life.
If you are alive, you should be happy.

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