May 18, 2015: Goats and Gonads

It truly is a spectacle.
The room is filled with boisterous laughter, the smell of beer and cooked meat.
The two in the middle scream and growl, tugging on the rope.

This spectacle, as ridiculous as it is, is actually a fight for survival.

A giant woman sits in a chair, a smirk on her face.
She’s here for blood, and nothing will dissuade her except for laughter.

The man in the middle is the responsible party.
He killed her father.
Long story short:
He made a mistake that ended up in someone being kidnapped. He rescued her, was followed, his pursuer was killed – now the pursuer’s daughter is seeking revenge.

So, now, he’s participating in a strange form of tug-o-war with a goat.
The real caveat is the rope is tied to the goat’s beard on one end…and the man’s genitals on the other.
The man and the goat struggle against each other, both howling in pain.
The crowd laughs and cheers them on.
The goat pulls hard and the man lets out a high-pitched yelp.
The crowd bursts into applause.
The man grabs the rope with his hands and tugs hard.
The goat staggers then charges forward.
The man tries to run away but the rope goes tight and jerks him back, pain contorting his face.
The goat rams into the man’s groin, sending him flying into the lap of the giant woman.

She bursts out laughing.
Tears streaming down her cheeks as her whole body shakes in glee.
The crowd cheers loudly, their voices echoing around the room.
Cheers of happiness. Cheers of relief.

The giant woman is trying to contain herself. Her shoulders bouncing up and down. The man is still in her lap, rocking back and forth with his hands between his legs.

The beer flows, music begins to play and everyone slaps backs and hugs.
Forgotten is how close they came to war, all for one person’s follies.
He wont forget anytime soon.
He’s drinking in the corner with a large pack of ice on his lap.

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